Birth and Motherhood Photography Durham, NC

2020 A Year in Review

Part One

Wow… this year!

Last year I called 2020 the year of “Letting Go” my god how true that was for 2020 for not just me but so many people just trying to stay afloat. I think fo so many of us in those first months of quarantine we still held very tightly to this idea of “getting back to normal.” We were waiting for our usual to return and it never did. Eventually, I think we all had to loosen our grips on what felt “normal” and embrace this new 2020 life with all its really low lows and occasional bright lights.

I think my 2020 journey felt riddled with the need for balance. In January My body was still recovering from birth and postpartum but by February I was finally entering the most joyful part of parenthood. Jude’s personality was coming alive and my body and mind were finally accepting this new balance. But of course, by the end of March, everything changed. I had to miss 2 birth days due to COVID restrictions and my heart broke both times. There wasn’t much we could do and I thankfully was able to still capture their homecomings from the hospital within those first weeks postpartum but still, I think of both of those mothers and wish the world had been different for their birth stories. But they each had a healthy beautiful baby boy and I’ve gotten to keep up with both of their families all year for family sessions and more.

As April/May kept us all isolated inside, our little family of three went a little stir crazy as you can imagine. We thankfully found a lot of joy in being together but the fear of getting out with a baby felt so overwhelming some days that we usually just stayed in watched Frozen 2 for the 50th time and Chris cooked us AMAZING meals. When I was able to, I went back to work capturing important moments and births for our community with as much safety and protection as I could. I traveled as far as Asheville for one epic homebirth, captured 2 repeat mommas (first time because we’ve moved so much I always seemed to miss the second due date), captured 2 incredibly powerful unassisted homebirths (with another hopefully any day now) and got my Doula Certification this august just in time to be welcomed back into hospitals by the Fall. I photographed 15 (16 if this last momma has her’s in the next few days) birthdays this year and feel the greatest weight of honor thinking about each epic day! Looking back this year was definitely one of the hardest but also one of the best

Hardest because like most people around the world our balance had to be completely reconfigured in March, everything from budget to childcare to human interaction had to be weighed so meticulously. We went through the darkness of isolation, anxiety, fear and loss but in a way that just always felt like we were looking through glass. It was bizarre and challenging.

Best because it was really Jude’s first year of life, I got to watch him grow and become a little person. The three of us spent every waking hour together for the first few months until we were able to expand into our small circle of close friends who have been such a rock in my life. We found real balance once we finally figured out a nanny share and were able to more regularly interact with our people. My friendships have felt deeper and richer more this year than they have since I was in college. In so many ways being a mother and friend are small but they have also been such a gift to me in 2020. When all else faded it was the chaos of being a mom, loving my partner, connecting with my girl friends, throwing themed parties with my circle of 8 and Disney + that kept us in the lifeboat all the way to the safe shores of 2021… at least I hope safe shores :P

And of course, this collection of images below are my favorites from throughout 2020 Part One, they are full of the raw and powerful quality all of my work in grounded in. There is nudity and blood but in all honesty, the gift that is birth and life is filled with the messy. All photos have been approved and released by the client for sharing.

This image is Me. My favorite self-portait captured in the first weeks of 2020. Still brings me to tears how little my baby was as the beginning of this year!

The Birth of Thea, Her mother Maggie describes this experience this way and I think with this photo it says everything,

“ What a year. What a fucking year. I went to the depths and came back with this beautiful soul in my arms. It took everything. And yes she was worth it and more. But god was it painful. I broke down. I crumbled. I turned to ash and dust. I screamed and sobbed and gagged. over and over. repeat and repeat. And then I roared. And then I held her. My Thea. My Moon. My Beloved. Our Ancient Song.”

This sweet series was from my first birth of 2020 and first repeat momma! The beautiful and powerful unassisted home birth of Keslin! I’m so in love with those big sister photos, probably because I was at her birth too :P

Another special mother and daughter here! I captured the Wedding of LA and Matt the first year I moved to NC and to have the honor to capture this sweet newborn Session for them and Savy was so dear to my heart!

If this pairing doesn’t just describe those first weeks and months of motherhood! I loved getting to be pregnant with this momma and friend and to meet her sweet baby boy right before they moved across the country! Melissa also captured our Newborn photos in 2019!

These two are just good, fun, and laidback people. And yes this is a fully renovated RV that they brought their newborn baby girl home to! I felt so kindred to them from the moment we met and chatted for hours over smoothies. When their birth took an unexpected turn and their postpartum felt weightier than expected they endured together with such joy, love and strength.

My heart has been so drawn to these postpartum moments and sessions this year. Recently healing from my own postpartum season, I just see so much beauty in this time of raw vulnerability and transformation!

The Birth of Marlowe,

“Laboring Together for their third baby girl and first home birth! This birth was ALL theirs!”

Jude at 3 months!

“Raising a Curious Daughter”

This image won me first in category at the Voice Image Competition held by Click Pro you can see HERE! Which was a huge win and honor to be welcomed by this esteemed collection of female pro photographers!

New Parents so much Love!

There are just some moments in a session that I just love and can’t choose a favorite if it killed me! I was also luck enough to capture this baby girl’s birth day just a few weeks/ month earlier!

Self Portraits of My Own Motherhood

The Mother is in control of her birth

Motherhood Project Tribute

Part One

Jude 1yr

Gold, Light & Motherhood

The Moment of Birth of Isaiah

The Elder Family

Words from the Mother,

“It was healing. It was a victory. It was life changing. And yet none of that feels like how I expected it would. Birth is such a Mystery.”

Wild Free Pregnancy

The Smith Family

Baby Love