Our Stories of Breastfeeding 2020

A series dedicated to celebrating the journeys of breastfeeding

Each story is told from the mother’s own words and the images are of the beautiful mom! This year I was excited to open up this series to not just mothers I’ve gotten to photograph or support BUT to the whole world! This year has been a beautiful season of growth for me and in my confidence as a mom and supporter of moms. I reached out to my online community of wise women to see who would want to share and hopefully inspire or have solidarity with another mom out there! I’m so excited to share each of these journeys in all their power and beauty! This series is especially focused on the highs and LOWS of this breastfeeding relationship.

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To all moms out there, I do want to say... to celebrate breastfeeding is not meant to shame bottle feeding, formula, exclusive pumping, or any of the other ways you are getting your little one fed! Each mom and baby has a different path and I am a firm believer (especially after having my own battles) that it is not always straight or a matter of right/wrong when it comes to nourishing your little one. We celebrate the breastfeeding journey because it truly can be an unsung journey for moms out there, it can be hard to overcome 1 hurdle but most moms go through many hurdles and feel unseen. I hope by sharing stories of breastfeeding highs and LOWS it can help other moms out there see that it really is hard and it really is ok to make the choice that is right for you and your baby!

I'm on my third little. My first, Adam (7.5yo) I nursed for about 6 months. My second, Noah (4yo) I nursed for 14 months. My third, Sam, is 4 months old and we are currently nursing.

When I think on my breastfeeding journey so far, the first thoughts are that Breastfeeding is a quiet super-power.

I've never had a super relationship with loving my body. To think that I've sustained a human life just with my body, it kinda flips all my insecurities upside down, and I love that. I love the strength it gives my relationship with my child from day one.

    All of that said, nursing Adam was hard, like still the hardest thing I've ever done almost 8 years later. He was pretty seriously jaundiced, and also born 3 weeks early. He was SO sleepy because of all of that, and thus had a really hard time nursing in those early weeks. I used every gadget known to man to get my milk into him! Nipple shields, syringes, wet washcloths to keep him awake, an SNS feeder, everything. There were definitely times where I was like, what the hell is going on here?! Why am I doing this? I wish I had nursed him longer. Around 5-6 months, he just started getting really fussy at the breast all the time, and I couldn't handle the stress anymore. We had supplemented with formula anyway, and I had gone back to work so he was getting lots of bottles with formula anyway, so I just gave in. I'm a little sad about that, but I'm firmly of the "fed is best" camp since I've done it all when it comes to feeding my babies.

    Another incredibly hard thing about breastfeeding is the pure exhaustion and also physical pain of those early days.

Noah (my second) wasn't the best sleeper, and I felt like he was just literally attached to my breast for the first few months. I remember just crying at night because I couldn't see an end in sight, it felt like I was drowning. The cracked nipples, the excruciating pain at the first latch, it was awful at first! I think it's also hard to deal with expectations vs. reality. You might expect to breastfeed for a certain time, or expect it to all go really well, and then it doesn't, and you just feel so conflicted and stressed.

     When I think about how I survived those early days of breastfeeding with each baby, I just think about how Motherhood is such a blur; such an overused phrase, but it's so true. All of a sudden you wake up and a year has passed and your kiddo is walking, talking and you don't know how that even happened. My girlfriends have been an enormous source of support and encouragement throughout all of motherhood, not even just breastfeeding. I never knew how much I needed them until a became a mom! Reading other moms' journeys of breastfeeding also helped me.

ALSO, listening to my own mother talk about her experience as a new mom -- I'll never forget her saying sadly,

"I wish I could have nursed you all. I tried but I just didn't have the support that y'all have now."

That totally stunned me and made me realize how lucky we are to have lactation consultants all over the place now, how it's the norm to breastfeed in the hospital once you give birth. So my mom's regret and sadness about never getting to do this really motivated me to rock it out :)  AND lactation consultants - with Adam, I had one in my hospital room every 2 hours or more, and then I saw them in our pediatrician's office for continued support once we were home. I could not have done it without them. They're truly angels!

     But my greatest support came from My husband. In his own quiet ways, I always knew he was cheering me on in those hard moments. In the middle of the night when I'd be sitting up in bed nursing (he's asleep of course!!!), sometimes he'd curl his arm around my lower back, and I can't tell you what that gesture did for my morale. That sweet, simple motion told me, I'm with you, you're doing great, keep going. Sometimes, he strokes our son's soft little head while he's nursing and I love that, too.

I've often joked that I'd do anything to give my husband the power to lactate (helloooo help with night wakings!!!).

But, his love and unwavering support have gotten me through some really hard moments in all of this.

    The truth is, with each baby, I love how my confidence grows. I'm really ashamed to say this, but before I was a mom, I vividly remember being a little weirded out when I saw women nursing in public. With my first baby, I would always plan our outings around his feeding times, or just feed him in the backseat of the car before we had to go in anywhere. It was fine at the time and I was comfortable with it, so I won't say I regret it, it was just my reality at the time. When I had my second three and a half years later, I had completely changed. I remember going on our first "family of four" outing, it was to Southpoint mall. Noah, about a week old, started crying, and I just sat down on a bench, threw my nursing cover on and started feeding him. I've never felt more awesome!! Any anxiety I had about nursing in public disappeared in that moment. I thought, wow I CAN do this! This would have NEVER happened with my first child. Months into my breastfeeding journey with Noah, I even ditched the cover. I just all of a sudden got really good at all of it. I've nursed on a hayride, on the beach, all over the place. I'm so proud of how I've gone from using an SNS feeder and hiding in the back of my car, to ditching a dumb nursing cover and nursing on a hayride with Santa! I also love how my older boys have been able to see me breastfeed! I have been very open about it with them, and I think this is a necessary component to normalize breastfeeding for future generations. I hope this positively impacts the way they see women and their bodies, that breasts aren’t just these sexual objects with only a visual purpose.

Just like everything in motherhood, breastfeeding doesn't last forever. It's a season. Enjoy the little things like the gummy, milky smiles from your baby. Enjoy being able to duck out of a party or social gathering to just chill with your baby in a quiet space. When things are frustrating, talk to someone who loves you.

Follow Hannah with Heart and Hands Doula

I am a proud mom of a 10-month old daughter, along with working as an attorney and a new doula serving the Tallahassee area (on Instagram @heart_and_hands_doula). I always knew I wanted to breastfeed and tried to prepare myself by taking a breastfeeding class while I was pregnant.

But I don't think anything can truly prepare a new mom for what her unique breastfeeding joys and challenges will be. 

My first attempt at breastfeeding was challenging, and it took me around 20 minutes to establish my first latch with the help of my homebirth midwife. I continued to struggle early on with establishing a deep latch. Each latch seemed to require all of my concentration and take multiple attempts. No one prepared me for the intense pain I would experience when my mature milk came in nor the freakish experience of leaking milk everywhere. I had heard babies liked to eat every 2-3 hours but did not feel prepared for the constant nursing my baby wanted and how absolutely exhausting it would be to be her sole source of sustenance all day every day and every night. I was fortunate not to experience some of the more difficult challenges nursing people can face, such as mastitis, thrush, or a lip or tongue-tie, just to name a few, but we certainly faced our own challenges along the way. In addition to the early struggle to establish a good latch and the intense pain when my mature milk came in,

I experienced insecurity about how often my baby wanted to nurse, felt unsupported in my breastfeeding goals ("if you're tired, why don't you just let someone give her a bottle?'), self-conscious about nursing in front of people, and defensive when family made comments about how she was "eating again" or wondering if she was "getting enough" (she was!).

And did I mention how BONE-TIRED I was?? But despite all of that, I am so thankful I was able to exclusively breastfeed (or offer expressed milk) to my daughter for 6 months. There is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing your baby grow and gain weight each month and knowing you earned each pound, and there is nothing as sweet as when you get that first nursing smile from your little one. Although nursing looks quite different with a busy 10-month old, I am thankful we still have a great breastfeeding relationship. Breastfeeding creates such a special bond and has been a truly rewarding experience I will treasure for the rest of my life.

What I wish I could tell every new mom is that breastfeeding is more than food. It is comfort, it is security, it is home for your baby. Never let anyone sow seeds of doubt in this sacred relationship.

I also want to tell new moms that it is normal to have a steep learning curve at the beginning, but it gets easier. One day you wake up and it finally doesn't feel so hard anymore. It's worth it, and you can do it! There are so many excellent resources and lactation professionals out there. I personally benefited from the wisdom of Dr. Jack Newman, KellyMom.com, The Badass Breastfeeding Podcast, "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding," and "Working and Breastfeeding Made Simple," along with a lactation support group led by an IBCLC and through seeking support from mothers in my life who had breastfed and supported breastfeeding.

Never take advice from people who don't understand or value breastfeeding! If you are struggling, don't hesitate to reach out and seek the support you deserve. Wishing you a long and satisfying breastfeeding journey!

I have two little boys and breastfed both. My eldest fed constantly. Proper cluster feeder. He barely slept and just wanted to feed and comfort on me. I found the first 12 weeks really painful and it took a long time for me to find it easy. I fed him until he was 7.5 months.

    My second was still a hungry baby but didn't cluster feed as much and slept in a couple or hour stints. He also didn't comfort on the boob so was much easier. I only had pain for a few weeks and then it was easy. He had a dairy and soya allergy so I cut out dairy and soya from my diet. I fed him until he was 14 months. I felt sad when I gave up feeding him.

    With both babies I found breastfeeding them meant I had such special one on one time. Moments that you won't get back.

   My first attempt at breastfeeding went well. We did skin to skin after he was born and he latched straight on. But I suffered badly with mastitis and blocked ducts with my first. I had antibiotics several times. On the worst bout I ended up with a cyst on my breast and had to have surgery so it could be removed. My little one was around 6 weeks. I continued to breastfeed which was a challenge as my boob had a big hole on it. I had to go daily to the doctors for the dressing to be changed. I was in a lot of pain. SO looking back I definitely have to say my first thoughts on early breastfeeding are that it’s hard but worth it. The special bond is like nothing else and the rush of hormones when you feed them is amazing (only really got this with my second). Looking back at how hard it was and how sweet the bond makes me feel really proud of myself.

   My greatest support came from my midwives who were amazing. I worried about both babies latch and I would ring them and they would call round to my house and check him. My partner was an amazing support keeping on top of everything in the house and making sure I was fed so that I could focus on feeding. I also come from a family of breast-feeders so was in a positive space with family support. I also even attended a breastfeeding support group.

    The wisdom I would love to share with other moms is that it is really hard and lots of women go through pain and discomfort. I didn't really realize this before I started breastfeeding. So talking about this and getting support is so important.

    I think when you realize it's normal that the baby doesn't sleep and cluster feeds, and that there is pain, it helps reassure you that you're not failing. And to know that eventually you will find it easy and enjoy it helps push you through. And that despite complications, breastfeeding is something that makes you feel proud and that it creates a truly special bond with your baby.

follow Katrina

I am a mother of two and was able to breastfeed both! With my first I made it thru 18 months and was actually pregnant with my second when we weaned, now with my second, we are 5 months.

I loved the bond so much but it took so long to get there with my first.

The same is proving to be true with my second. It’s just been so much work! I prayed it wouldn’t be so hard the second time, that I wouldn’t have oversupply, that I could know what it feels like to rock and nurse for sweet minutes on end. Now that I’ve tackled oversupply twice, plus latch issues and food sensitivities to boot this time, I’m learning how to rejoice in the journey I call my own. With each child. Because it’s always so unique with each mama and each baby!

All in all I’m learning my first journey into breastfeeding was fairly smooth. No bleeding/cracked nipples or pain. No latch issues, But I had weeks of engorgement, I’m petite so the whole DD bra size was so overwhelming and embarrassing. No one told me how much breasts change with pregnancy and postpartum. I’d always heard a day or two of engorgement while your milk comes in.

I had a colicky babe, due to oversupply, and she wouldn’t nurse to sleep or soothe because so much milk spewed down her throat anytime. She slept longer stretches because she was so satisfied with milk from a 5min feed but I’d have to pump in between to cope with the pain and avoid clogged ducts, it was especially hard at night to wake up just to pump, not getting to savor the sweet baby smells and details while awake and tired in the night.

I ended up donating all of my pumped milk to an adoptive mother and friend and that was a wonderful way to try and be grateful for the oversupply and pumping.

But I always had a Hakka on one side and baby on the other which is work work work! Had to keep that strong little leg from kicking that milk everywhere! It was only when my body felt completely and utterly done, I’d lost too much weight, and I was really sick, that I was able to stop pumping and start to savor just me and my baby. That’s when I got to taste this bond people talked about! Just feeding and loving on your baby! We nursed until about 18 months, I knew my body couldn’t handle pregnancy and breastfeeding simultaneously, and my period had been back since 2m postpartum (talk about nursing aversions every period, that was a doozy!) 

We wanted to start trying for another babe and that was such a consolation to wean my first. Weaning was even harder than the beginning of our journey honestly! No one really tells you about that either. How emotional it is but also how unique the logistics are for each mama and baby. My toddler never nurses or fell easily asleep in my arms so nursing was my way of keeping her close and still for a few minutes and I cherished it so much!

The hardest part of both my breastfeeding experiences was oversupply for sure. Like 5gal collected from one side in a Hakka in the first 4wks kind of oversupply. Ridiculous! I realized it can be due to thyroid imbalance much later in my nursing journey, but I thought since I was getting that under control during my second pregnancy it wouldn’t be so bad. Lots of women talk about undersupply and having to supplement for their babies either breastmilk from other moms or formula, but the most common thing I hear while battling oversupply is “at least they are getting plenty of milk!” “You really don’t have to worry about much.” I’d just never heard of anyone dealing with oversupply before and it felt like there wasn’t helpful info and support. I’d always heard don’t pump, it will make things worse and cause imbalance but then it was such a painful existence trying to push off a pump session for 15 or 30 more min to try and trick my body into making less! It’s always felt like a blessing and a curse, and no one else had a context for how much milk took up my mind and days that first year.

The people that helped me most getting through those early weeks were, My mom, my midwife, friends who had various experiences and struggles with breastfeeding, my chiropractor, a doula and lactation consultant at the birth center, but most of all I went to a first time breastfeeding group. Everything under the sun was talked about, not just breastfeeding, but I felt surrounded by ladies doing this (mostly) for the first time and navigating any number of struggles! It was the saddest thing with my second postpartum period falling during COVID quarantine that I couldn’t attend any sort of thing and have a place to share and listen to other mamas navigating various struggles but feeling much the same way. Never assume you are the only one, and keep searching until you find the support that makes you feel truly supported!

 With my second, my mother’s intuition was something was wrong from the first time I brought her to breast...

she didn’t open her mouth and instinctively suck! I didn’t remember much from my first time, because oversupply was the huge thing and everything else seemed to come more naturally, but I asked my midwife (lactation certified) and she didn’t see any ties, I had my friend and lactation consultant come help me at about 7 days when it still wasn’t going well and was painful and Sloane was getting so frustrated at the breast. She helped with the latching issues but again missed the ties. Then my chiro noticed not only significant ties but also a muscular issue that meant her tongue, cheeks, etc were all weak as if she was born preterm. So we were able to see another more qualified lactation consultant training to be an ILBLC, and between her support and CST/regular adjustments, and seeing a feeding specialist Sloane has gotten the hands-on help she’s needed to thrive and I’ve already regulated my supply far faster this second time. So just because someone with training says everything looks good, get a number of opinions!

 The only wisdom I would say for other moms is simply, Never go it alone, find your people, even if it’s online. Never assume pain and struggles breastfeeding are just the normal part of learning something new.

I really hope moms see my story and know that sticking it out really is worth it because sometimes the reward may come so much later.

I also I encourage moms to know why you want to breastfeed and if that why is enough to work through any number of struggles, find someone who can help you achieve that goal! Hormones are hard, breastfeeding/postpartum keep them wacky, don’t underestimate them! They affect supply, how much you can enjoy nursing, etc etc! Also, oversupply can be just as overwhelming and consuming as undersupply.

I am now breastfeeding my second baby, so I’m on round two (18 months combined for both kiddos).

Since my first experience was atypical, I wasn’t prepared for the difficulty of teaching a “normal” baby to breastfeed. I got the usual chapped nipples, weak latch, crying in the middle of the night because it would take 40 minutes to get him to latch.

The hardest part for me has always been getting started, but once we’re in a good rhythm, it becomes second nature.

My advice to new moms is to give grace. Give grace to the baby, and most importantly, give grace to yourself as you learn how to feed your baby (however it is that happens). Even when you cognitively know that fed is best and the formula is also ok and breastfeeding is ok and it’s all ok, it can still be an emotional rollercoaster. Give yourself grace. You know your baby, you know your body, get help when you need it, and find people who will support you.

follow Carly of Harvest Moon Nights

I am a mom of 1 boy and we just ended our breast feeding journey this week (fitting time!). He breastfed for right around 11 months and really weaned himself away.

Our first attempt at breastfeeding was smooth. After our home water birth, he started to look for the nipple on his own and latched right away after I figured out the best way to hold him. But the hardest part for us has been the biting by far. We came to a point where I thought we’d be ending our journey around 7.5 months because I was dreading it so much. Every time he breastfed he would bite down as hard as he could. I bled so many times and every time he ate (which was 4-5 times a day at this point) my anxiety spiked and I was so tense. It was a trying time but we pushed through.

I have so much gratitude for and am in awe of what my body was capable of doing and also so much excitement to be done with the journey for now.

We truly had such a wonderful experience for the first 3/4 of our breastfeeding journey and then the last bit has definitely been more trying mentally and physically. His ever-changing desire to do anything but breastfeed (causing my supply to drop) paired with him biting me so hard I would bleed has brought me to a content moment of closure for the experience.

My greatest support came from my partner. He was so insanely supportive and took on as much responsibility for breastfeeding as he could without actually being the one to do it. He got up with me during late-night feedings, got my boppy and nipple pads, changed the diapers, burped after feeding, cleaned bottle parts, put away pumped milk, and always scratched my back while I pumped.

My wisdom for moms in those early days would be to drink as much water as you possibly can, get yourself a hydro flask and haakka and know you can stop at any point and I still be a good mom.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. This journey isn’t going to look perfect, you’re a human and so is your baby and nothing looks the way we think it will. Give yourself grace and do your best.

I hope just one mom feels relief hearing my experience about my happiness to have our breastfeeding journey come to an end. I struggled with the guilt of not really loving breastfeeding towards the end of the journey. I worked my ass off to keep it going when I wanted to stop, and am proud that I stayed dedicated.

But I think it’s okay to equally be grateful for something, frustrated by it and content with it ending.

follow Jeanette

I am 36, with one baby boy who is 7 weeks old today. We made it 6 weeks breastfeeding.

My feeding experience ended sadly because of a combination of too forceful of milk letdown (baby needed a slow flow nipple) and having a milk protein allergy from the milk. Many nights spent crying by both mom and baby-led us to the pediatrician to find out these things. Maybe if one happened first and then the other things may have turned out differently, who knows but they combination situation caused me to move to a hypoallergenic formula for the baby and many nipples and bottles later one that works without the baby choking on milk and needing to be burped every half ounce because of gulping too much air. My baby was also born a month earlier than his due date so he is considered late preterm. He was born at 36 weeks+1 He had blood sugar issues as a newborn and it seems like his digestive system has just taken a little longer to catch up.

When I think of my breastfeeding journey I think of it in a bittersweet way. I was determined to breastfeed so much that I would even let a nipple near my baby at the hospital when he had to have supplement formula for blood sugar issues. We had to syringe feed him. I'm glad we made it for the time we did but I am also sad I was not strong enough to keep it going. I feel like I made the right decision for my baby but at the same time, I have mom guilt for not continuing. Mind you he is doing better than ever today, but it just was not what I envisioned. I didn't realize how traumatized I would get from hurting my baby just by feeding him.

I was so in love with the amazing things our bodies can do and the nutrients it provided I didn't want to think or admit he needed something other than what I provided.

  My first attempt in the hospital went surprisingly well. I honestly thought it was going to be a breeze and we were going to be lucky because his latch was amazing. Little did I know the problems we would have later down the road. But at first, besides me having sore nipples and boots from the milk coming in he did his part like a pro. I used multiple lactation consultants while at the hospital and I highly recommend it.

Breastfeeding is not easy and it is not as natural as you imagine it to be. Take the help, ask the questions! You will be so thankful and you will go home with a much better feeling that you can do this breastfeeding thing.

I wanted to take a breastfeeding class before having my son, but COVID prevented that so before seeing consultants in the hospital, I watched a lot of videos on YouTube. The hardest part of my journey was having to stop. It was also being scared each time it was time to feed my baby because he was going to choke, vomit or be in pain from what I was giving him. And now it is him recognizing my boobs and wanting to feed but that I can't anymore. All of these were the hardest parts equally. What helped me through was the consultants and being a part of breastfeeding groups on Facebook. Also knowing how good breast milk is for your baby kept me going for the time I was able to. But I gained the most support from my partner. He was very supportive in my breastfeeding journey.

  If I can give any words of advice to new moms who want to breastfeed I would tell them to give it what you got. Try, try, try. Get support and ask questions.

Use your lactation consultants at the hospital they were amazing. Even if you don't make it as long as you wanted to due to work, health concerns, emotionally draining, whatever the case your baby got those nutrients for the time that they were able to breastfeed. Don't think you can't do it before you even give it a shot.

I hope any mom that hears my story doesn't feel guilty or shame because their journey also ended before they planned. It’s not easy. It’s hard as hell actually. But you did your best and you love your baby no less. Each person's journey as a mother looks different and as long as you love your baby no matter what and they are healthy that is all that matters. Don't be so hard on yourself. (I also need to take my own advice on that one.)

follow Candice

I was uncertain when I was pregnant with my daughter Maggie if I would breastfeed. My mother and her mother did not, and it wasn't something I grew up around. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and the whole thing intimidated me.

My first attempts at breastfeeding were difficult. Maggie was born via emergency C-section and was taken to the NICU immediately. I didn't get to hold her very long before she was taken for tests and monitoring. My husband and I expressed my desire to breastfeed, and so every 2 hours I would go to the NICU to attempt. She was what the nurse called a "sleepy baby." She wouldn't latch and would fall asleep whenever I held her.

  Once we were home, I used a nipple shield to help with her latch and would pump after every nursing session or attempt. It was exhausting and made my supply completely out of whack from what my daughter actually needed. I had a hard time connecting to what I was feeling with the image of motherhood I had pictured.

Her birth and our breastfeeding journey was difficult physically, and emotionally. I sobbed when I told my husband that I wasn't sure I loved her or if she loved me. I had read about the instant bond mothers feel towards their children and hadn't felt that yet. I just felt in pain from the C-section and constantly frustrated with nursing.

  We eventually figured it out. Visits with lactation consultants, reading more about breastfeeding and keeping at it. Once we were out and about running errands and I couldn't find the nipple shield. I momentarily panicked, and then I told my then three-month old Maggie, we had to figure it out together. To my surprise, she did and it was easy from there on out. Maggie nursed all through my pregnancy with my son, Rowan until she was 20 months old.

  Rowan was the opposite of Maggie both in labor and delivery and in his approach to nursing. He was a VBAC and nursed immediately with no problems. Maggie nursed the night I brought him home and I tandem nursed them both. I absolutely hated it! Both children nursing and touching me made my skin crawl. I couldn't imagine nursing a toddler and an infant at the same time long-term without losing my mind, so Maggie weaned about a month later upon Mama's insistence. Rowan would go on to nurse til he was 29 months old... and by that point, I was pregnant again with my third baby. Genevieve was born last March. She was a quick delivery and was immediately a nurser and still going strong at 17 months old.

 In total, I have been pregnant or nursing for seven years straight this month.

I have loved nursing my babies. I have loved the quiet nights in the rocking chair, the moments of peace when they drift asleep with a milky gum smile. I have also been exhausted and "over it" more times than I can count. I have felt trapped by their need for me, and my need to pump when I'm away from them.

I think moms need to hear that we can feel both emotions at the same time.

I have nursed in so many strange and weird places. At concerts, at weddings, at funerals, on top of mountains, on beaches. I remember these stolen little moments with my children happily and the overwhelming sense of love and accomplishment.

Genevieve is likely my last nursling. I can feel the twilight of these days and be overcome with both sadness that it's almost over and gratitude for this journey's completion.

follow Amanda at Raleigh Birth Photography

All three of my kids were breastfed, but each relationship was vastly different! Each experience was directly shaped from the previous babe. 

My first was born in a Birth Center and I was anxious to experience the bond that breastfeeding offers. My son wouldn't latch for me, and the nurse and midwife also tried to help a little but they assured me that he would 'figure it out'. Somehow we left the birth center without him ever latching. The next four days were filled with so many tears and not a single successful latch at home. I remember telling the midwife and pediatrician that we hadn't actually had a successful feed. I resorted to formula, not once did I pump. We used a shield, which helped with stimulation but there was no transfer.

The support I should have had from providers was unbelievably absent, the knowledge I had was inadequate. On the morning of the fifth day, my husband took it upon himself and called a lactation consultant.

She had an opening that afternoon so we packed up and hit the road. I was in the chair for less than 30 seconds and she had him latched. It was remarkable. My milk had come in that morning as well so we left that appointment with a plethora of information and tools, and my son left with a full belly.  From that day, he never missed a meal. His latch was an issue and was causing pain and blisters, but I was told it was a normal first-time mom sensitivity and was given a cream. We struggled a little with supply, and did supplement a little towards the end.

Our nursing relationship lasted for 9 months; I had pain during every single feed.

My second was a planned homebirth, but he had other ideas and was born via cesarean. He was latched as soon as we were wheeled into recovery. I DID IT on my first try! I knew that I wanted to leave the hospital having a successful latch. I was experiencing pain with his latch too. I went into his birth with a lot more experience and I knew this wasn't normal. The hospital lactation consultant said he had a bad latch, but she couldn't diagnose anything. My circle of support in Raleigh ran deep, and I credit my breastfeeding relationships to so many. My midwife happened to be hosting a tongue tie clinic and invited me to be a part of the teachings. He was diagnosed with a high pallet and mild lip and tongue tie.

She recommended chiropractic care, and within 2 weeks we were pain-free! I never once had a supply issue with my middle babe, and he nursed for 21 months.

My third was a HBAC, and I kind of went into this nursing relationship a little cocky. I had all the players in place, and I was ready for anything! My daughter latched within the first hour after birth, and I had a huge visible blister as soon as she came off. Shit. Lindsay, a good friend and chiropractor was there to witness this crazy. She went to work on her right away. My daughter needed a little more work than what Lindsay's training covered so she referred me another chiropractor. The blisters and pain were so bad. I was in tears every time she needed to be fed, I wanted to run away and I found myself feeling resentful. Humbled in realizing that even a seasoned mom still has things to learn, I chose to pump and have her fed by bottle. I would cry every time, and it was absolutely one of the hardest things. My chiropractor promised 2 weeks to get me to pain free, and she delivered, I have never been so thankful! Our supply was ok, she nursed for 17 months. 

After nearly 4 years of breastfeeding, I can say with certainty that we moms are important too!

Sure, the nourishments we are giving our babies is insurmountable, but it is important to care for yourself during. Each journey for me was so different, and in those stories, I learned patience, strength, determination and love. Love for not only my babies and those who rallied behind me, but for myself. The sheer fact that I grew three tiny humans and then nourished them with my body, a level of appreciation and amazement was achieved. 

Breastfeeding is HARD! It is definitely a labor of love. One thing I have learned is that you can't be afraid to ask for help. It can be lonely to struggle alone, be open to hearing advice but don't assume one way is the only way, and trust in the fact that you are doing your best; even if that means you need to switch gears and pump or supplement. Your health; emotional, mental, physical, is important too. 

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My first baby is 8 weeks old. I hope to breastfeed for 2 years

The main thing I’ve learned so far is that breastfeeding is way more difficult than I ever imagined. I don’t think there’s any way to really fully prepare for or understand how hard it is until you experience it. But it is so unbelievably rewarding!

I latched my baby for the first time at the birth center a couple of hours after she was born and I instantly had a blister. She was not latching well at all and it was excruciatingly painful. My nurse tried to help but sent us home with syringes to feed her pumped colostrum.

I went home from the birth center 8 hours after my daughter was born and had to immediately start pumping so that she would be fed. It was a world I knew nothing about. I never intended to pump like that.

I was still trying to make her latch but it wasn’t working well and my nipples were so injured and sore. By the second night, my husband told me that we had to give the baby a bottle with formula because she had to eat and that’s what was most important. I sobbed, but I knew it was what had to happen. By day 3, my milk started coming in so that was a blessing. I had a good supply so I was able to keep pumping. That week I had a visit from a lactation consultant and we found that my baby had a tongue tie. We took her at one week old to have the revision done. The next few weeks were grueling. I continued to exclusively pump and bottle feed while trying unsuccessfully to get her to latch.

By week 5 I had pretty much accepted the fact that I would be exclusively pumping for the next year as exhausting as that was. Then week 6 came along and somewhere out of the blue my daughter decided it was time to start nursing!  It seemed like overnight she was latching well and exclusively breastfeeding! It’s been about 2 weeks now and she’s doing so wonderfully!

The hardest part for me has been trusting the process and staying encouraged. I owe my survival in those first weeks to all the support from other mothers. They offered so much advice and encouragement.

   My wisdom for other moms is that first I highly recommend meeting with a lactation consultant right after your baby is born. Also, stay strong. The first few weeks are tough. You’re exhausted and sore and healing from childbirth. Adjusting to your new norm and on top of that you might be having trouble breastfeeding. Don’t get discouraged and give up. Give yourself a few weeks and I promise your head will be clearer and things will be easier!