The Birth of Isaiah
Phallin shares the home birth story of her 6th baby
In Her Own Words
Durham England Birth & Family Photographer | Hanna Hill Photography
The Birth Story of Isaiah
Phallin shares her beautiful story of her 6th birth in her own words,
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My last guess for little man’s due date, before I gave up on guessing; was October 2 because of the full moon and I have three kids born on the 20th and 21st and two on the 1st and 2nd. So it seemed like a good guess.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All day Thursday I felt “off”. I was more than a week overdue and the stress of what would happen once I reach 42 weeks was starting to set in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The baby was moving around more than normal, ever since my chiropractor and acupuncture appointments the day before. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was doing all I could to get things moving...
I could tell there was a hormone shift happening and I just sat on the porch and stared off in the woods all day. Either crying or praying. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Thursday night at 9 pm I felt a contraction that was a little different... it was enough to make me wonder. At 10 pm I started timing them. They were exactly ten minutes apart and more painful than normal. It was definitely different. But I had this for the past two weekends... so I figured it would end up stopping. I decided to get a few things ready just in case. Like my playlist and headphones set up in my iPad since my phone was still broken. At midnight I decided I should probably get some sleep just in case the contractions didn’t stop, I knew I would be needing some energy since I was already exhausted. I couldn’t sleep. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At 3 am I couldn’t lay there through the contractions any more. It was definitely too painful to sleep through. But still very manageable and the contractions were still 10 minutes apart so I didn’t really think it was labor.
I have always woken up to contractions being 4 minutes apart and 3 hours later a baby would be born. So this ten minutes apart but being painful had me so confused. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At 3:30 am they suddenly turned into contractions that were 3 minutes apart. I went straight from 10 to 3 and I just prayed this wasn’t false labor and hesitantly texted the midwife and the photographer, praying I had not woken everyone up for nothing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I woke Caleb up and he flew out of bed to grab the birth pool. It was then that we both noticed his eye was swollen shut and he was covered in poison ivy 🙈 ⠀
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The more I walked around getting things together the more I realized this was the real deal. I felt like I was in shock.
Total disbelief that it was actually happening. I decided I better sit down because everyone had well over an hour drive to get here. When I was up and moving the contractions were under 2 minutes apart when I was sitting they were 7. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was a bit scared because the contractions were so close together and typically within 3 hours of that point my babies would be born!!!
I told Caleb to be ready to deliver a baby, he was confident. I was still panicking!
Creed’s song “Arms Wide Open” came on and ever since I have had babies that song has been super emotional for me. I felt like crying and a really bad contraction came on so I stopped it.
I will say being tense definitely will keep a baby in. Your really do have to let go. Which is such a crazy thought. It’s the opposite of what you want to do when you are in so much pain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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By 5 am everyone had arrived. At this point, the contractions definitely had my focus. They were painful when they came but I had at least 7 minutes in between them! And since they started being closer together they only lasted 30seconds... really weird for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Around 6:20 am I asked to be checked. I knew for sure the baby should have been born by now!!!!
I was 100% effaced and not even dilated fully to 1cm. I about died right then and there. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I said “Are you serious?!?! All this pain for 6 hours and nothing is happening?!?!?!?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Within two minutes I had dilated to 3. I was still annoyed 😒 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I have never had to “work” to get my babies out. I had precipitous labors and the baby just came blasting out from back to back contractions with no let up. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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At 7 am I finally had enough. I started squatting and getting down on one knee anything to get him out. I still had lots of time in between contractions to ask all the questions. And make all the comments. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Is the baby stuck?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Are you sure he is not stuck?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How do you know he’s not stuck?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What happens if he is stuck?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Caleb!! Your baby must have a really big head!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I just knew something had to be wrong as these contractions never even lasted more than 30 seconds each with the exception of a few! Normally they go on for over a minute!!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was moaning through the contractions. My music and Caleb doing counter pressure on my back were both life savers. The long pauses in between contractions helped too although it made it all take so much longer!
The midwives suggested that I go up and down the stairs... I asked what would happen if he suddenly was born on the stairs 😆 But I did it anyways. After two contractions on the stairs I had enough. ⠀⠀
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At 9 am I decided to get in the birth pool. I can’t remember if they checked me or not. But something registered in my head as I was at 7cm.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At 9:11am I texted my sister and said that she better pray this baby comes quickly because this was taking FOREVER.
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And I continued to ask the questions...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Am I almost done? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How do I get him out faster?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I will have him soon? Ok what does soon mean? In an hour? At midnight?? How much longer??? ⠀
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Everyone looked so calm. Just sitting there waiting for me to have a baby. It’s such a weird feeling. Like you are an animal in a zoo. Just being watched. It’s almost a lonely feeling.
Every bone in your body feels like it is about to break. And you are alone. But every time I am at this point in labor I get really deep in my head. And it becomes me and the baby... we are in this together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I felt one huge contraction like my body was bearing down and wanting to push. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then I had ten minutes of nothing.
It didn’t come into my mind that I had passed transition, I realized that afterward.
When you feel like you can’t go any longer... it’s almost done. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All I remember feeling was my husband’s strong arms. I was so thankful for him and knew that I couldn’t do this without him. I tried to not grab and squeeze him so I just remember smacking his arm repeatedly. And somehow I couldn’t figure out how to hit the go forward button so I kept hitting back as I was trying to skip a song...So the only thing playing was Eminem on repeat “Two trailer park girls go round the outside round the outside round the outside...”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Another long pause of nothing... just floating in the pool with all the questions.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At 9:20 and the next contraction, I felt like my hip bones were about to break. Of course, I asked if this was normal? I had back labor for the last 6 hours and as he was about to be born it was no different. I told Caleb to push on my back harder. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At 9:38ish I had a very short pause before another contraction came and I decided to push with this one. I was so over it. Done. This baby was coming out! Normally I deliver the head and then the rest just kind of comes out with the next contraction. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nope. His head. His shoulders and his butt all came out at once and each section felt just as big as his head ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Turns out his head and shoulders were both 14inches so maybe that’s why.
9:41 am on October 2nd Isaiah was born. It was over with. Finished. Just like that, all of the pain is gone. And your arms are filled with a fat, warm baby. I don’t think there is any other feeling in the world that can compare to this.
The months and months of fear over the pain... was in vain. I really do think that the over dramatization of my last birth on the TV show “Born in the Wild” had caused so much fear over nothing... I have never felt like that with my other four and I am so thankful that this birth was calm and how a birth should be.
Honestly it wasn’t half as bad as I had made up in my mind that it was going to be. No tearing. No stitches. Everything happened just how it should 💕 Not even any after pains! Which... after 6 babies is crazy!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀Caleb’s favorite thing to say was how it wasn’t like anything in the movies, he was expecting screaming and pushing for hours. My response was typical... since I hate Hollywood and all of the FAKE stories that are so out of touch with reality.... “This isn’t the movies babe. This is real life” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There is a reason for posting pictures of myself in labor. There is a reason I agreed to be filmed by Lifetime for my last birth six years ago today... ⠀⠀⠀
Because we need to normalize it.
The objectifying of women needs to stop.
We need to normalize natural and uninhibited childbirth.
We need to normalize breastfeeding.
There is nothing weird or shocking or gross about either of these things.
I am thankful to be raising my sons (and daughters) in a way that treats having babies and nurturing babies as a normal part of life. I am proud to be raising them to respect women and motherhood.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This birth was so unlike any of my others!!! It kept me guessing and asking ALL the questions!
So thankful for the best team of midwives Nancy and Kate ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
and my amazing photographer, Hanna Hill Photography.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Caleb’s mom rushed all the way over to watch the other five kids ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
They are so proud of their baby brother and are obsessed with him, it’s precious to watch ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And Caleb ... he is my hero. ⠀