Why do I call myself a birth Keeper?
Why do I call myself a birth keeper?
My Journey through birth work and finding meaning in a term beyond “doula”
This word has gotten a lot of mixed reviews. If you are within the birth world you may have an opinion on it but for me, I believe it's the best term to describe my personal role in the birth space. Words like “doula” or even “doula/tog” have their limitations and expectations to how I "should" act in the birth space. When I started my journey as a birth worker I was pretty naive to the system that people were birthing in. I had experience with all types of births but had a hard time articulating why certain births felt like being controlled and others felt like freedom.
It only took my first experience with secondary birth trauma to show me that sometimes our bodies are not given the respect or autonomy needed to walk out of our births with power. I remember standing there as a perineum was stretched violently, baby's head shot out and the medical provider tried to shove the baby's head back up while the mother screamed how she obviously "couldn't un-birth her baby" This was all because the Dr wasn't in the room yet.
I was a couple-years-new birth photographer at this time and really not that experienced in birth trauma or even what it looks like to advocate for the birthing person well. So I went home and started to grieve and educate myself on what I could have done to help this family in the moment and postpartum. I didn't want to be a bystander to trauma or nonconsensual medical practices. But I also wanted to allow this family to experience and remember their birth how they wanted to. And in this experience, this family mostly went on with their lives happily with a newborn and some “mild” vaginal nerve damage. My choice to become a birth keeper started to germinate during this time but wouldn't take shape for a few more years.
So as I grew in experience, knowledge and voice as a birth photographer I started to realize my role was intuitive to the birthing space. I was inspired working with birthing people who took complete ownership over their birth and care providers that allowed birth to navigate for itself. And the more I saw that type of freedom connected to the birthing experience the more I wanted every birthing person to feel that. But as most birth workers know, it's so much more complicated than that. There are medical systems, medical complications, fear, pain and a whole list of things that can often come between a birthing person and feeling complete freedom in their experience. Birth freedom is so much more nuanced than simply choosing natural birth or birthing at home in a tub. Birth autonomy isn’t always directly linked to having all the education and support either (as my own personal birth experience can attest)
So I continued on as a birth photographer who used her intuition to serve her families whether that was an affirming word, holding a hand, talking through concerns or worries, or even occasionally actually assisting the midwife or nurse. Then 2020 happened to us all.
Certifying as a doula was something I was really resistant toward. I didn’t love the idea of being defined as one type of birth support or having to agree to a certain code of conduct according to the certification I chose. Many actually warn against advocating for your clients during labor or speaking to medical professionals at all. Most discourage serving mothers in unassisted home births pretty profusely. All things I feel very passionate about.
But 2020 made the role of birth photographer almost nothing and doula only slightly above nothing. We were all calling out for birthing people to have their access to individualized support given back to them while we watched our clients walk into what often felt like stressed, controlled, and understaffed birthing spaces. So I made the choice to seek out certification as a doula and found the word birth keeper. This word felt like a gift. It encompassed my passion for serving birthing people, my passion for documenting it, and the intuitive nature of having to trust the process. It allowed me to confidently gain education about birth without having to sacrifice my voice for advocacy and trust in a birthing person’s right and autonomy to birth whenever and wherever they intuitively felt best.
So you may just be thinking, “well that all just sounds like a doula.” And maybe you’re right. I use the words interchangeably in my marketing, information, and with my birthing families because I know it’s the most commonly used word for what I offer. I even use the word doula to access certain birth spaces. But I know that the word that fits my holistic role in a birthing person’s journey from pregnancy to postpartum is more in line with birth Keeper. Or maybe Birth Best-friend, Birth guide, Birth poet, Birth artist or Birth sister! I want to be more and yet give you all the power. I want to guide you like a sister who only wants you to feel deep freedom and power.
Photographer, Mom, Birth Keeper, Blogger, and lover of sharing stories of the real and raw journeys of people. I love wearing yoga pants even though I haven’t done yoga in over a year, true crime podcasts, and photographing the parenthood journey in all its authenticity!